Illuminated Desires
by Aenaria
Summary: With a war imminent, times are changing and so is everyone around Hogwarts. Draco and Hermione are each finding their own ways to deal with problems these changes pose.
1. Chapter 1: A World Without Change

Chapter 1 - A World Without Change  
  
The midday sun shone through the open window, illuminating a dark floor and casting much needed light into a sombre looking chamber. In the canopied bed to the far end of the room lay a young boy of fifteen with platinum blond hair. In his deep sleep he seemed an angel carved of ivory, oblivious to the light that was slowly infiltrating the darkness of his haven where he slept so peacefully.  
  
A knock on the door quickly roused him from his dreams and he sat up, half asleep and rubbing at his eyes. When they finally opened to stare unfocusedly around the room, they revealed a piercing stare of greyish- blue. He slowly looked towards the door.  
  
"What do you want? State your purpose for waking me!"  
  
The door opened to reveal a man with long silver blond hair. Crossing the room quickly, he looked down at the boy bemusedly and crossed his arms across his chest with an air of satisfaction.  
  
"Am I disturbing you Draco? Pardon me for intruding on what I hope were good dreams but unless you rouse yourself from your sleepy state, you WILL miss the train to Hogwarts and we all know what a shame that would be."  
  
The boy slowly stretched and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. Looking up at the imposing figure towering above him, he gave a slight smirk.  
  
"I'll be ready soon Father. Wouldn't want to keep old Dumbledore waiting now would we."  
  
Lucius Malfoy smiled quickly at his son before spinning on his heel and heading for the door which promptly closed after him. Draco slowly dragged himself out of the bed and made his way to the mirror. Brushing his fingers through his straight hair and pushing a stray lock out of his eyes, he smirked at the reflection he made and just as quickly frowned. Turning away and grabbing a fresh robe from his closet, he made his way to the bathroom as the door slammed shut behind him.  
  
*****  
  
"Hermione GRANGER! You better have that chest down here in a couple of minutes or you are leaving without it!"  
  
A young girl with messy brown hair and warm brown eyes looked towards her bedroom door nervously while fiddling with the contents of the enormous trunk on the floor in front of her.  
  
"Almost done Daddy! I just need to finish packing my books. I want to make sure that I have everything."  
  
For the sixth time that morning, she rummaged through the trunk. Once done, she quickly surveyed her general area. Satisfied that she hadn't forgotten anything she got up and walked over to her desk. Grabbing the wand lying on top of it, she turned to the trunk in the middle of her bedroom floor.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa!"  
  
The trunk slowly levitated, swaying this way and that with the breeze. Hermione stared at it with an unblinking eye.  
  
"Mobiliarbus!"  
  
Holding her wand in front of her, Hermione headed for the door with the trunk floating ahead of her. Never breaking eye contact with the trunk, she carefully made her way down the stairs and out the front door to where her father waited to load her trunk into the car. As she deposited the trunk on the ground for her father to load, she smiled to herself. Ah... another year at Hogwarts with Ron and Harry!  
  
*****  
  
"ALL ABOARD!"  
  
The conductor's voice rang through the air clearly as a bell clanged away, announcing the departure of the Hogwarts express. Many students were saying last minute goodbyes to family and friends in the seconds before they would have to climb aboard for another year at school. In the middle of all the hustle, Draco pushed his way through the gathering crowds towards the train. He knew that he had precious little time to spare and all his thoughts were on making it to the door...  
  
"Watch out!"  
  
The feminine cry rang in his ears and Draco barely had time to swerve in his attempts to avoid the cat that had run in front of his trolley. As he turned sharply, his trunk slid from its support and clamoured to the floor. As it struck the pavement sharply, the buckles slid open and out tumbled a wide variety of books and clothing.  
  
"Crookshanks!"  
  
A young brunette ran towards the trolley and scooped up her cat, cradling it gently and checking it for any bruises or broken bones. The cat meowed contentedly and snuggled into her embrace, seemingly unaware of the mayhem he had caused.  
  
As people gathered to help collect the scattered belongings, the girl turned, red-faced, towards Draco.  
  
*****  
  
"Oh no"  
  
The thought echoed through Hermione's mind as she turned to face the boy who had almost hit her cat.  
  
"Oh no. Not him... not Malfoy..."  
  
Biting down on her lip and attempting an apologetic smile, she lifted her eyes slowly to meet his. The icy eyes chilled her to core and her smile slipped as she fought to summon in herself the courage associated with Griffindor. Forcing herself to look grateful and fearless, she stared back at him.  
  
"Thank you Draco," she said softly.  
  
The boy looked down at her with utter contempt and twisted his face into a sardonic smile.  
  
"What are you thanking ME for Mudblood?" he sneered at her, "If I had known that it was YOUR cat, I wouldn't have swerved!"  
  
Hermione stared at him in hurt and disbelief as he turned his back on her to finish re-strapping his trunk. Then, with tears rising in her eyes, she gathered what remained of her pride and fled with Crookshanks to the safety of the train where Harry and Ron would be waiting to welcome her with open arms.  
  
*****  
  
"Drat it! Drat it all!"  
  
Draco followed the departing girl with his eyes and watched her board the train. Only then did he finally turn away to replace his trunk on the trolley. He had just managed to settle everything into place when a sound alerted him to the fact that the train was pulling out of the station. Swearing under his breath and grabbing a hold of the trolley bars, Draco made a mad dash for the doors of the train. Just when he thought that it was all in vain and that he had most certainly missed the train, it stopped.  
  
"What in the - "  
  
His question was cut short by the sudden appearance of the conductor at the back doors.  
  
"Well now young Mr. Malfoy, sir... You almost didn't make it! Lucky for you someone was nice enough to inform us that you were here!"  
  
Dropping down to the platform, he made his way over to where Draco was standing. Lifting the trunk, he walked back to the train and hoisted it up onto the little balcony outside the doors before climbing back up himself. Draco followed apprehensively and climbed on board where he then thanked the conductor for stopping. The conductor nodded and was just walking away when he was hesitantly called back.  
  
"If I may inquire, who exactly informed you that I was still on the platform?"  
  
The conductor smiled at him.  
  
"A Miss Granger, sir. She said that it was her fault that you almost missed the train. You should really thank her, not me."  
  
The conductor then headed down the aisle and vanished through the doors at the other end of the train cart, leaving Draco staring after him in silent thought.  
  
*****  
  
Hermione slept through most of the journey, only waking occasionally to stare out over this forest, or that lake. Usually the passing scenery kept her occupied for hours but Malfoy's outburst this morning had definitely put a damper on her spirits.  
  
MUDBLOOD...  
  
The word echoed through her brain and she felt the tears starting to rise up in her eyes once more. Beside her, she could hear Ron and Harry chattering away about Quidditch. She hadn't yet told them about the encounter with Draco. All it would have done is upset them and started a fight which is the last thing anyone needed considering the mess the world was in right now, what with Voldemort on the loose and Cedric Diggory dead. After boarding the train she'd left her trunk under her seat and gone to the bathroom to wipe her eyes. When she was heading back to find Harry and Ron, she'd happened to notice Draco running for the train. Much as she hated him, she knew that his missing the train would weigh on her conscience, so she kindly asked the conductor to stop for him before making her way back to her seat. Fortunately, no one had noticed so she didn't need to worry about Draco seeking her out.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
Harry's voice intruded on her thoughts and she turned to him quickly and smiled, noticing that Ron was no longer sitting across from them. She knew that her eyes must be slightly red and teary, but the fact that she had been sleeping would easily explain the symptoms. However, Harry didn't even seem to notice the tears and asked instead whether she was feeling alright.  
  
"I'm fine Harry," she responded easily, smiling a little, "Just a bit tired. I was packing until late into the night yesterday and I guess it just wore me down a little."  
  
The answer seemed to satisfy him and he patted her arm softly. Excusing himself to go use the washroom and meet Ron at the snack cart, he opened the door and exited, letting it slide shut behind him... and leaving her alone with her thoughts.  
  
*****  
  
Draco looked at his face in the mirror and scowled back at his reflection. He'd been hiding in the washroom for an hour now, trying to avoid Granger at any cost. Why had she asked the conductor to stop? He sure as hell wouldn't have, not for her.  
  
He turned away and slowly opened the door, relieved to see that she was nowhere in sight. Walking as quickly as possible, he wound his way back to his compartment and shut the door behind him. Crabbe and Goyle were out, probably at the snack cart, so he sat down by himself and studied the scenery they were passing by. The forest looked beautiful at this time of year. The seasons were just beginning to merge and everywhere you looked there were the flowers and berries of summer mixing with the red leaves, yellow leaves, and orange leaves of autumn. There was still the odd green tree, refusing to change or give in to the passing of time, standing tall and still in all its glory but even that tree would change sooner or later. It was inevitable.  
  
Draco stared down at his hands. Hands that were so much like his father's. His mother had told him that... "You have your father's hands Draco." Everything about him was so much like his father. He couldn't escape that reality. The similarities between father and son were just too noticeable. Everyone looked at him and saw Lucius - after all, he was just another Malfoy.  
  
"Well at least I'm not a muggle-loving Weasley."  
  
Somehow, the thought didn't comfort him the way it used to. 


	2. Chapter 2: A Change In Seasons

Chapter 2: A Change in Seasons  
  
It wasn't the first time that Draco had failed to comfort himself by putting others down. It had actually been happening fairly often over the course of the summer. Ever since Cedric Diggory died, he'd found himself seeing things in a different light. He didn't want to become a death eater anymore. Life seemed too important to him. Of course, he hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it. His mother would never have understood. She loved him, and he loved her - there was no doubt of their feelings towards one another - but Narcissa Malfoy also loved her pure blood and her husband. She was a supporter of Voldemort in her heart and having her only son turn away from him would probably be more than she could bear.  
  
As for his father, well, that wasn't even an option. His father was an active supporter of Voldemort and he expected the same from his son. Had he any knowledge of the thoughts crossing through Draco's mind he would have had him on the first train to Durmstrang. So who did that leave to talk to? Crabbe and Goyle? Pansy Parkinson? They were all supporters of Voldemort and probably future death eaters, just like he was supposed to be.  
  
"What about Hermione?"  
  
Draco frowned to himself. Caring about life was one thing but accepting muggles and mudbloods was quite another thing. Where had that thought come from?  
  
"She helped you."  
  
Draco turned around to find who was talking to him but no one was there. What in the world was going on?  
  
*****  
  
Hermione looked around the compartment in thoughtful silent. The Hogwarts Express was slowly pulling into the station and in a few minutes the train would erupt with noise as the students clambered over and around each other in frantic attempts to pull their trunks this way and that.  
  
"Might as well avoid it all," Hermione thought to herself as she slowly tugged her trunk from under the seat, "Might as well -"  
  
"Avoid Draco?"  
  
Hermione whipped around to look behind her but there was no one there. Quietly opening the door to her compartment, she stared down the corridor. It was empty. How could that be? Someone had been there, someone had talked to her!  
  
"Don't imagine things Hermione," she whispered to herself, "You must have been talking and you just didn't realise it."  
  
Letting the door slide shut, she turned back to her trunk and quickly grabbed the handle on one end. Lugging it upright so that she could pull it along behind her, she opened the compartment door and walked out into the corridor.  
  
"Omph!"  
  
Hermione felt the air get knocked out of her as she collided with something solid and black. Arms reached out from the sides to steady her and she quickly regained her balance. Even before she lifted her head to look up she knew who she had run into. For the second time that day, she raised her eyes to meet Draco's.  
  
*****  
  
"GRANGER!"  
  
Draco shook his head in disbelief as he looked down at the girl who had just interrupted him for the second time that day. Her face was beet red and he could see that she was chewing the inside of her lip. Draco felt his lip beginning to curl into a sneer as he thought of Hermione Granger, perfect student, being scared of him. Only then did he realise that he was still holding onto her arms. As nonchalantly as possible, he released her and stepped back.  
  
"Should really watch where you're going GRANGER," he drawled, putting the greatest pronunciation on her name, "Next time I might left you fall flat on your muggle face!"  
  
He watched with smug satisfaction as she blushed even deeper. His sense of accomplishment, however, was soon chased away as he saw the tears well up in her eyes. Steeling himself against the remorse he felt, Draco spun on his heel and walked away from her.  
  
"Damnit, damnit, damnit!" he swore under his breath, "What the hell is going on?"  
  
Only a couple of months ago he would have relished in making the muggle Granger cry and now it was eating him up inside that he almost had. Maybe Cedric's death had influenced him more than he thought.  
  
"Get a hold of yourself Draco," he thought to himself, "Your survival depends on your decisions and your strength. Granger is nothing."  
  
So why did he feel so damn guilty?  
  
*****  
  
Hermione stared at Draco's back as he walked away from her, her watery eyes blurring her vision. Well, at least he hadn't said anything about making her cry. She knew he'd seen the tears... there was no way he couldn't have. Without a word she lifted her hand and brushed them away as best as possible. Once she had composed herself, she started towards the exit doors again. The train had stopped by now and all around her students were pushing and shoving to get ahead of each other.  
  
Darkness had settled over the landscape outside and as she descended from the train she could see the dim outline of Hogwarts against the charcoal skyline. It seemed as though all of its many windows were lit in welcome of the students returning for a new school year.  
  
"Oi, Hermi'ne! How are ye'?"  
  
Hermione had just enough time to turn around before she was enveloped in a huge bear hug. When she finally managed to tear herself away, she found herself looking up into Hagrid's big friendly face.  
  
"Oh hello Hagrid!" she said, smiling happily, "I'm great. How are you?"  
  
Hagrid smiled wanly and shook his head.  
  
"It's been a long summer Hermi'ne... what with... well, you know... Dumbledore's been beside himself, poor man. Worried sick about Harry, he was!"  
  
Hermione held his hand and smiled wanly back at him. If she knew Hagrid at all, Dumbledore hadn't been half as worried about Harry as he had been.  
  
"Harry's fine Hagrid."  
  
Hagrid smiled at her and squeezed her hand softly. Hermione squeezed back gently before excusing herself. As she made her way though the crowd to find Harry and Ron, she turned around one last time, a smile on her face.  
  
"Firs' years! I be needing all the firs' years over here!"  
  
The warm voice calling brought back memories of her first year at Hogwarts and a bright smile lit her face. Raising her face to the sky and staring up at the many stars, she sighed contentedly. Hogwarts was welcoming her home again.  
  
*****  
  
"Draco!"  
  
The boy in question groaned inwardly as a girl in forest green robes hurried towards him, a huge smile plastered across her face.  
  
"Pansy," he acknowledged in a somewhat less excited voice, "What a pleasant surprise..."  
  
As she reached him, the girl draped her arms around him and pulled him close. Reluctantly he let himself be hugged. After a few minutes, she carefully pulled away. Realising that if he didn't escape soon, he might be forced to sit with her at the Sorting and all through dinner, he desperately tried to think up some excuse to leave her.  
  
"Um, Pansy... I'm really sorry but I promised Snape that I'd meet him upon arriving. He said that he had something of particular importance to discuss..."  
  
Hoping against hope that Pansy would buy the excuse, he looked into her eyes.  
  
"Of course Draco," she said with a simpering smile, "I'll save you a seat at dinner."  
  
Draco groaned inwardly once more as the girl turned and walked over to chat with a small group of Slytherin students. He could never seem to get away from her! Shaking his head in exasperation, he turned around and made his way in the opposite direction. He had only taken a couple of steps when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Standing there, bathed in light, with her head turned up to the sky, was Hermione Granger. She looked like a beautiful angel. There was no other way to describe it. A faint blush touched her cheeks and she seemed so happy and free, oblivious to the hundreds of students strolling past her.  
  
"Hey! Goyle! Draco! Look at the Mudblood. What does she think she's doing?"  
  
Crabbe's voice startled Draco and he turned around to find his friends standing not two feet behind him.  
  
"Hey, GRANGER, get a move on!"  
  
Goyle's voice rang even louder than Crabbe's had and Draco spun around once more to see Hermione standing in front of him, anger blazing in her eyes. Without speaking a word, she spun on her heel and stalked away. Goyle and Crabbe laughed in the background, obviously proud of the fact that they had managed to fluster her.  
  
Draco, on the other, hand did nothing but stare after Hermione.  
  
"Oi, Draco!"  
  
The exclamation brought him back to his senses and he whipped around to face his friends.  
  
"Why are you staring after Granger," Crabbe questioned, a perplexed look on his face.  
  
"You know Crabbe," Draco answered, "I'm not entirely sure!"  
  
Looking up at his friends, he suddenly sneered.  
  
"Forget the Mudblood - let's go eat!"  
  
*****  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
Hermione stalked off to where Harry and Ron were waiting for her at the end of the platform.  
  
"What's wrong Hermione?" Ron asked with a smile.  
  
"Yeah Hermione," Harry said jokingly, "Your face is redder than Ron's hair!"  
  
Ron took a swipe at Harry, who dodged the blow. When it didn't appear that Hermione was interested in joking around, they quickly straightened up again and repeated their questions seriously.  
  
"Oh, I just had a run in with stupid Malfoy and his empty headed bodyguards. Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time today or I may not have cared so much!"  
  
Harry and Ron stared at her sympathetically and put their arms around her protectively.  
  
"Stupid gits - you should really just ignore them!"  
  
Hermione looked up at Ron and attempted a smile. She knew that he was right but it was just so damn hard! No matter where she turned they seemed to be there, ready to torment her.  
  
Harry reached over and handed her a chocolate frog.  
  
"Here you go 'Mione," he said affectionately, "Get your mind off those lousy louts and think about dinner."  
  
As if on cue, her stomach rumbled loudly and both boys laughed. Hermione blushed deeply and laughed along with them. Looking up with a renewed vigour she grabbed a hold of both boys.  
  
"Let's go eat!" 


End file.
